No More “Skinny Jeans” or “Fat Jeans” For Me

Over the past week, I have been to Nordstrom twice to shop for clothes for myself.  Two visits in a week is well outside my comfort zone for clothes shopping frequency.  I am a “surgical shopper.”  I know what I want, go to the store, find it, and leave.  I’m sure the salespeople at Nordstrom call me “an easy mark.”  Fastest commissions they’ve ever made.

I visited Nordstrom in order to retool my wardrobe during their annual sale.  Timing of the sale was perfect for me.  Two pairs of my dress pants recently wore through in the wallet-pocket on my right rear, and my dress shirts are fading and ripping.  Given that items are roughly 33% off during the sale, and I had an opportunity to shop before the sale officially starts, this was the time to retool.  I had avoided shopping long enough.  I bought a sport coat, three pairs of dress slacks, two pairs of casual slacks, five dress shirts, three casual shirts, two belts, nine undershirts, and some dress socks.  I’m eagerly looking forward to the cathartic exercise of cleaning out my closet to make room.

In the process of buying all these clothes, I decided to remove the shackles of the “skinny jeans” and to end the specter of the “fat jeans.”  No longer would I worry about the waist size or the inseam or the collar size.  Instead, I bought clothes that were comfortable and looked good.  Nothing more.

As I write this, I’m admitting an ugly secret among many men.  Like many women, we have our “skinny jeans” – the pair we always want to fit into when we can finally lose those last five pounds.  I’m also admitting that we have our “fat jeans,” the jeans that are comfortable but that we never, ever want to wear, because wearing them means we desperately need a diet.  As long as the fat jeans are too big, our weight is o.k.

(My wife informed me this evening that “skinny jeans” are now a specific type of jeans.  Who knew?  I’m pushing forward with this posting anyway.)

The fact that men have skinny jeans and fat jeans probably isn’t that much of a revelation.  Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry so vainly transformed his 32″ Levi’s into 31″ Levi’s just to say he wore the same size as in college?

Any person whose weight fluctuates probably has a wardrobe that ranges in size.  But the desire to wear the skinny jeans and avoid the fat jeans often results in stuffing ourselves into clothes that are uncomfortable.  It results in bloated closet shelves with items we can’t and don’t wear.  I know I have been guilty of that.

I made the decision to eliminate my skinny and fat jeans for four reasons:

1. I just had my annual physical and the blood tests came back with great results.  I may be heavier than I want, but I’m healthy.  I’m proud of being healthy.  It’s o.k. to be the clothes’ size I really am.
2. Life is too short to worry about fitting into this or fitting into that.  I’m not obese, and I am not in health danger from my weight.  I want to be comfortable for the rest of my life.
3. Having a closet that only has clothes that fit you and that you wear is something unique and special.  I’ll credit Gretchen Rubin and her Happiness Project for that revelation.
4. It dawned on me that, no matter what I think, when I’m wearing stuff that is too small or too large, everyone knows.  Who am I fooling?

We’ll see how it goes.  I’m sure, if nothing else, I’ll enjoy the comfort.

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I weighed myself this morning for the first time in two weeks.  I was at 192.6, which is basically steady, despite seemingly eating too much and exercising too little.  It goes to show that, if you eat smartly, you can still eat a lot and maintain your weight.