The Poetry of Air Travel from St. Louis
September 29, 2010 Leave a comment
Regular readers know that I travel often for business and enjoy travel for pleasure. I travel so much that I am more or less immune to things that frustrate others. I handle delays with ease. I prepare for no leg room, plan for no luggage room, and bring my own snacks. I have trained myself to fall asleep while the plane is on the tarmac before take off.
But, I’m frustrated with air travel out of our home airport, Lambert-St. Louis. Direct destinations are decreasing. Is seems like most destinations on airlines other than Southwest require connections. The number of routes, including those to airlines’ hubs, have decreased overall, meaning that every flight is full and uncomfortable. Embraers and Canadair jets seem the norm, with some routes on the smaller planes now over three hours long.
For fun, I decided to express this frustration in verse, harking back to days of high school English class. Call me a bit loopy. Enjoy.
There once was a man from St. Louis
Who cursed every time that he flew us.
There was no room in the seat
Or for bags at his feet,
And the attendants were generally clueless.
There once was an airport best in show.
Airline execs were rolling in dough.
The economy hit a rut,
And routes were cut,
Leaving travelers with nowhere to go.
Flights from St. Louis
Small planes and long connections
Car trips seem better
Boeing and Airbus
Full-sized jets rare in St. Louis
Embraers are the norm
Life spent in the air
Forced to fly indirectly
To where they must go
I fly for business out of Lambert St. Louis.
Connections have become the norm.
Other cities say “please come through us”
Acting the safe port in the storm.
We once flew from St. Louis across the globe.
30 million through in the year 2000.
Now only 12 million per year wear Lambert’s robe,
Far less than TWA once planned.
What can we do but bow to airlines decisions?
They reduce plane size and increase fees.
They put route maps through regular revisions.
Passengers are constantly put ill at ease.
Tourists call us the “Gateway to the West,”
But air travelers know we are really the “Many Gates of Southwest.”